Why “truth, love and a little malice” ?

In the last couple of years, I have changed the name of my blog several times. I fall into that category of people who are not easily satisfied- be it in naming blogs, or eating pani-puris. I always look for more, a leap towards satisfaction and self contentment.

(My friends often make fun of me when I run towards my teacher to get an extra mark. They say, “Ayushman always need more marks. He is never satisfied”. This is partially correct. Why partially because I never ask for something which I do not deserve- I wrote well, so I should get more marks. My parents taught me never to compromise or give in to something which I do not consider to be just. They always told me to stand up for what is right, no matter whatever the consequences may be. So, if I feel like I deserve more marks, I approach the teacher. If I am not happy with the name of my blog, I change it a thousand times. This might seem strange and people might find it atrocious to draw a connection between the two. I myself find it rather puzzling why I connected the act of naming this blog with the ethical lessons I learned from my parents while growing up. This is probably what Woolf and others called stream of consciousness. As I am writing this, I realise that I am deviating from my original course (which I often do), but I said these because I wanted to say. Its my blog afterall!)

The paragraph within parenthesis makes little sense. I hope people skip it. If you read it, well your bad luck. I promise the remaining ones to be logical and meaningful. I, in no circumstance whatsoever, would like to present myself as James Joyce. I hate reading the bugger. I wish my writing resonates Khushwant Singh. My dislike for humbug, flowery phrases and hyperbole in literature is as strong as his were. I always aspired to cultivate a sense of journalistic writing like Singh- a quality which I admired a lot. In my early graduation days, I felt insecure since I failed to write in a “creative” language which my friends wrote, and teachers considered it “literary”. But upon reading Khushwant Singh, I realised that even my kind of language was accepted and well received. Sticking to the same writing fashion, I cleared Master of Arts in English with a First Class Degree. I also managed to get the highest grade in my Dissertation (B+, which equals 80%)- a feat which only three people in the entire class managed to achieve. (I will talk about my dissertation in some other post, not here.)

(As I sit with my laptop on my lap with Khushwant Singh’s Portrait of a Serial Killer lying infront of me, I start contemplating about my life. My exams are over and I am back home. So, what now? Where will life take me? Am I supposed to do a job? Or study? . . . I am as clueless as Ross was about Chandler and Monica’s relationship! Well, eventually Ross did find out, and so would I.)

Now coming straight to my point, why “truth, love and a little malice” ? The name’s got a story behind it. Srijana gave me to read her father’s book some years ago. It was Khushwant Singh’s autobiography which was called Truth, Love and A Little Malice. I enjoyed the book so much that I told her I am never returning it. The book did strike a chord with me- I was instantly attracted by its style and content. They way Singh spoke about his life, openly and without any fear of embarrassment made me instantly fall in love with it. Since then, I promised myself, if I ever attempted to write in my life, I shall follow him. Thus, this blog shares its name with Singh’s autobiography. Not just the name, it will share almost all the features of Singh’s writing which now a part of my sub-conscious mind. Please do think it as imitation. It is just admiration.

In this blog, I can share my excitement about a book I have just read or a song I have just heard or express a thought I have just had. And thanks to the internet, I find readers in the most unexpected places.

Will be back with more.

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